The Underground Junk Hole

I don't care.

That's basically it, I don't care about painting or sculpting or anything much really. No, I'm not drunk and ranting, I'm just being honest for once.

I have like a million (yeah right, I wish) comissions I haven't finished yet, and I don't seem to be able to find the will to finish them. Somewhere along this paint-splattered road, I forgot the reason I was customizing in the first place, to make coool stuff the way I wanted, not the way others wanted it to be. This hobby became a job, a source of steady income, I almost became a suit. Yeah, my tie would be stained with dirty water and my sleeves would be torn off because I'm awesome, but still a suit, I never wanted to be that, I still don't. And that's not a rip on all you suits out there, that's cool that you've found success in life, but it's just not the kind I want. ME ME ME, I I I. Sounds very self-centered, and it is, I'm tired of doing what everyone else says is the way to go through life. Fuck you all. I love you, but fuck you. Lol. No, I don't know what I'm going to do for a living. I'm happy with an axe and a cabin in the woods somewhere, all this crap I buy, toys, electronics, they're just distractions, I need to get rid of them.

What does this mean for you, that's all you want to know. It means you'll get what's owed to you, cheers. Will it be soon? Not likely, but you will get your refunds/discounts/items. I'm not going to say "I promise", I never say that. I might be struck by lightning tomorrow and fry extra crispy, no one knows, but I'm going to make sure you get at least some kind of closure.

And I know each and every one of you that I owe stuff to, including you Tripper, GJ, and Tony K. Dude, I still have your custom Amphibian, send me your address! I recently took on another couple of commissions for one customer; I realy, really, really shouldn't have because I hit my funk BAD a few days after. But it involves sculpting a couple of little Knight dudes, should be something different at least, entertaining. Problem is, it's been hot and humid as hell for the past few weeks, I can't paint, it just gets sticky. This is not possible to explain to customers. They don't understand that the weather has a lot to do with the final result of their customs, they see it as an excuse for being lazy, what am I to do? I delay the customs until weather improves. Days turn to weeks and I start finding other, less-convincing excuses. It sucks, I know. I suck. Help me.

I'm not charging for comissions anymore, though I may do a free one now and then if I think the subject-matter is extra awesome. Maybe part of the reason I don't finish stuff is because I charge so little, I don't feel like the price reflects the work I put into the custom? Hell, $15 for repaints, like $30 for more complex things is a great price if you shop around, but it's not worth the sweat and blood that goes into the work. So, if you want something made, don't come to me anymore. You'll be happier that way.

I started a Film Photography Class this Monday. Old school stuff, the last generation before digital cams are as clear and sharp as film and film becomes obsolete. I enrolled only so I could withdraw $1200 in scholarship money. I'm going to use it for digital camera gear and an airbrush if there's money left over. The plan is to charge people for photoshoots, maybe 50 bucks a shoot, that's about what an average job pays a day. I like taking pictures, I like to hoard treasured memories and trashy traumas all the same, having them on film should be interesting.