The Underground Junk Hole

Sorry about the dreadful posts lately. I'm sorry I feel the need to write them at all.

I just woke up from the fifth night of the worst nightmares I've had since I watched too many zombie movies as a kid. I keep dreaming my friend Catherine dies. Continously. In different ways all through the night. This is why I've come to hate dreaming. I'm not going to describe the details, I've had enough of them, I just don't understand why these are recurring. I never spent as much time with her as I'd have liked to, don't know why we drifted apart but I'm sure it's my fault. She was a lively chick, always kept me on my toes when she was around, I appreciated that boost.

When I woke up, I felt the need to look over to my right, and I saw a man sitting in the chair there. He was wearing grey shoes, black slacks, and all I caught of the rest was a glimpse of his bony hand, lightly rapping his fingers on the arm-rest like someone waiting for a bus at the station. This sound is what woke me up. I closed my eyes at that point, then realized this person, this being, shouldn't be here. So I shot up but he was gone. I think that was Ol' Grims himself, but why is he messing with my head? Or is he confirming what I've been dreaming? Though deams they defintely are not.

I miss Catherine.

I've had similar dreams of my dad over the course of the last few months, each more lucid than the one before. The most recent was a break from the mayhem, he was sitting on the sofa, looking depressed as hell, so I sat next to him and put my arm around him. Then I woke up. Sometimes I suffer bouts of guilt that I don't behave as amicably, as compassionately, as I do in some dreams.

I'll miss them when they're gone.

Dean Arias - For all my years online, I've rarely posted pictures or even my name. Consequently, any of my old friends that try to look for me will find it impossible because there's nothing to track. No Facebook, no Myspace, nothing. When my name is searched, all that appears is some articles I wrote for Helium.com and some other guy with a Facebook, they're nothing special though (the articles). So anyway, my name is here so maybe anyone looking for me will have an easier time.

Yes, I went to Hollywood High School.

Yes, I'm the tortured genius.

Yes, I say "no" to a lot of things, but I won't deny a chance at conversation, not anymore anyway.

Eduardo, if you're reading this, let me know what's up, you freaking jarhead!