The Underground Junk Hole

Yar, some movies and a quick thought on each:

• The Broken [2008] - For a film that made it to Horrorfest, this thing was boring as hell. Granted, it did do a great job of building suspense thoughout, everytime you saw a mirror you'd be like "OMG! The might be someone there when next she looks into it!" Okay, that's pretty lame too since, like, ALL horror movies do that nowadays. And they have, you now, horror in them. Blegh. 6 Broken Mirrors / 10
  
  
• JCVD [2008] - Yes, Jean Claude Van Dam! I'm sad to say I couldn't find any version with English subtitles because the whole movie is in French. I still watched it though and pretended to understand everything, it was pretty awesome. Jean Claude is a secret agent from Pluto sent to earth to capture his evil doppleganger from taking over the galaxy! Nah, this actually looked like a good film, Van Dam looks and sounds so natural in this movie. And there's some cool monologue that everyone is raving about, that I thought was cool, but not epic...  Squiggly~Line / 10
  
  
• Dark Reprieve [2008] - Yuck! This thing sounded cool, but it's soooo boring. Bad acting but it's a really creepy idea. If the acting was better I'd probably have liked it. I remember seeing an old Twilight Zone episode that had basically the same plot as this movie, so I guess it's like a tribute to it or something. Lame / 10
  
  
• Solo [2006] - No, it's not porn, you freaks. It's an Australian film about a hitman who wants to retire but his bosses won't let him so interesting stuff happens. I wasn't expecting much out of it, so I was surprised that it was pretty decent. I mean, I love Australia and all, but it sounded kinda generic on paper. Coolness. I hated the ending though, it was kinda telegraphed thorughout the film. 7 Cute College-Girls / 10
  
  
• The Line [2006] - Not a horror flick, it's a straightforward crime drama/action thing. Not like CSI or Law&Order, those shows suck (sorry), more like...wel, I don't know what to compare it to, I don't watch movies that often! xD Anyway, it's a lot less epic than the descriptions for it make it sound. Two cops need to stop a gang war, but there's some croooked cops running around. The film isn't as "deep" as I wanted it to be, but it made it's point. It's okay. 7 Fuzzy Moral Lines / 10
  
  I really just like anything with angry Brits/Aussies/Kiwis in it, they're hilarious! Don't believe me? Take a look at this angry Kiwi and tell me it isn't hilarious:
  
  
  
  
  

  Um...okay, that's actually pretty fucking scary...like Big Bird and Chupacabras combined...um...moving on...
  
  
  
• Wall-E [2008] - Actually, I saw this last month, but it's such a cute and adorable movie that it's still in my head. Go watch it! Unless you hate cute things. Baby-haters. Lol, just messing with ya, I hate babies too. 14 Cute-ass Robots / 10

Oh! Go buy Black Label Society's albums! The music just sounds like a bunch of noise, and all the songs start to sound the same after a while, but it's still good! Har, it's good heavy banging to knock the cobwebs out of your crappy Jonas Brothers-infested brain. You really need to have a good ear to enjoy this music though, I'm not kidding about the songs all sounding the same after a while. You need to be able to pick-out the different sounds happening at once to appreciate it. This is one of the reasons people don't like Black/Death Metal, it just sounds like a bunch of noise, but if you take the time to understand what's happening within the song, then...um...a leprechaun gives you a pot of gold! No, it makes you realize just how much work the performers are putting into their music.

Man, I think it's hilarious, how can they go from Pounding Riffs to THIS, within the same album? And by hilarious I mean awesome, that song is fucking epic. I liked listening to like 93% of all the songs across all the albums! Because they all sounded the same! xD Srsly though, the banging songs are all okay, but the acoustic and mellow songs are epic. I love these guys.

Oops, almost forgot, I love you Zooey Deschanel. Be mine. Please? Oops, again...

• Yes Man [2008] - Jim Carrey and my beloved Zooey, best movie ever! This movie hit me pretty hard. I got all introspective and shit after it, wanted to be a better person and junk, and it almost happened, but luckily I drifted off to sleep and forgot about it...until now...crap.
  
  Zooey sings! I love her more now. The fake band, Munchausen by Proxy, plays music I love to make fun of. You know, that awful synth-techno-pop or whatever the hell it's called. It's awesome too. Look them up, they made 4 songs for the movie and they're all pretty to listen to.
  
  The title song, Yes Man, is the least goofy, I love it. Keystar and Sweet Ballad are fucking hilarious.
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwYEuYP_sjY&feature=response_watch
  
  And this is NOT a glamour shot, Zooey look slike this ALL THE TIME! Lol...