The Underground Junk Hole
Where even the mice are evil!
Kyle Robinson: Man, Myth, Marvel Legends Customizer
Damn, did you see that clever shit I did there with the title? Damn right.
Kyle Freaking Robinson is his name and only I, the unursurpurable Nightmare have the exclusive interview! Robinson's line of work is facinating and has been in magazines like Toyfare and PSM, alongside the legendary Shinobitron! I speak with my arch-nemesis about life, toys, and his dirty underwear.
1 - Who are you and why the hell should we care?
KR: My name is Kyle Robinson, and honestly, there really is no reason to care unless you have a sick obsession with bad ass little plastic people.
2 - How many times have you been asked "what kind of paint do you use"? If you had 20 hands and 100 toes, do you think you could count all the times? What do people ask you most often?
KR: 20 hands is only hundred fingers right? and 100 toes... so thats 300, which falls about 700 short of how many times I have been asked that question. BUT it is nothing compared to how many times I have been asked "
2 - How many times have you been asked "what kind of paint do you use"? If you had 20 hands and 100 toes, do you think you could count all the times? What do people ask you most often?
KR: 20 hands is only hundred fingers right? and 100 toes... so thats 300, which falls about 700 short of how many times I have been asked that question. BUT it is nothing compared to how many times I have been asked "
3 - I heard you keep rabid Kangaroos caged in your basement and pit them against Pandas for fun, is there any truth to this rumor?
KR: That just the thing with rumors... They get all jumbled when they get passed along. I don't have a basement, I have an attic. And its not a kangaroo its a wallaby and he is really nice. and its the panda who is rabid, but not caged by any means. He is allowed to roam free as long as he stays in the attic. And I never make them fight, thats just ridiculous sounding.
4 - Write a 1000-word essay on why Deadpool should get another figure of him made, GO! ...Fine, a few sentences will do.
KR: Because I demand it! And so people will quit paying me to make so many damn customs of him... wait, I pay my bills with Deadpool money.
5 - After customizing for a while, how long did it take you before you looked at a finished piece and said, "Aha! This is a badass custom!" Did you dance or sing or cry or get drunk and do all of those things at once?
KR: I actually loved all my customs from the beginning, its now that im better at it that I judge them harshly. but yeah, sometimes I will impress my myself and have a 1 minute dance party.
6 - How much can you bench-press?
KR: 290 lbs in real life, and 450 lbs on Match.com
7 - Bullshit! I mean...what inspired you to take that first hack at an ugly old toy to try and make something amazing out of it? What's kept you going ever since?
KR: 1st part, DEADPOOL, second part, MONEY
8 - What do you have to say to all those Negative-Nellies out there that hate you because of how quickly you've gained popularity? Please be as graphic as possible.
KR: Well Doc, I would tell you to get over it, hating on a guy who makes toys is the more pathetic than the act of making toys itself..hehe..
9 - You ever use pick-up lines on women that only customizers dare use? Like "Hey baby, my dremel isn't the only thing with an extended shaft." Or, "Hey girl, I'd love for you to make a mold of my head." What about, "I'd love to dip my brush in your wet palette and paint all over your wrinkly, canvas-like body." I use these by the way, which is probably why I'm all alone. That last one almost worked though, old ladies don't have very high standards I guess.
KR: I say "hey baby, wanna joint rub?" she says "Ew no, I don't do that" then I say "its cool, we can just dry brush"
10 - What's your favorite drink? And I mean in general, not just liquor, you lush!
KR: Water, I love me a cold class of water... OH and Dr. Pepper... OH and Redbull.
11 - I get death-threats whenever I criticize your customs, so could you please inform everyone that we have a brotherly comraderie, a special non-sexually-aggressive bond that can only exist between customizers and other men who use loud power-tools all day long? Please? Last week some guy said he'd blow-up my blue car if I didn't leave you alone, and it scares me because I don't even own a blue car, and now my neighbor doesn't own a blue car either! He owns a charred black and orange pile of ash now. Your fans play rough.
KR: My Minions have done well, MUAHAHAHAH
12 - Ever think about quitting the customizing game? If you won a billion dollars, do you think you'd still be making customs?
KR: All the time. Doing it full time tends to get you a little burned out. Dedicating yourself to making your sole living off it means you must take on jobs you may have never made if your in it for hobby, and to be honest sometimes those things
KR: All the time. Doing it full time tends to get you a little burned out. Dedicating yourself to making your sole living off it means you must take on jobs you may have never made if your in it for hobby, and to be honest sometimes those things
13 - What kind of underwear do you wear? Is it the same color in the evening as it is in the morning? Last question, I swear.
KR: Boxers, NEXT question.
14 - Nightmare's word is worthless. Where do you eventually hope to get with your film-hobby? How about a movie starring all customizers where they have to assemble all the pieces of an ancient paintbrush to summon Captain Planet to stop Rita from invading the Earth? No? Fine. How have you integrated all your life-skills to help you become a customizing juggernaut?
KR: (That's an understatement) Well, my brother and I have started a Media Company called YOKE Media. He just got his degree, and I have mine, Now we can work and people can see our credentials..lol.. So I will be doing that a lot, still customizing, but as you may have noticed, I have been sorta out of the loop, although as of now customizing is still my main source of income. My real goal would to be Quentin Tarantino, and make films I want to make, when I want to make them.
KR: And to answer your second part, I guess customizing is just like drawing, painting, sculpting, or any other kinda art. I have been doing all these things my whole life.
15 - Can I borrow $50? My cat is sick and needs a new liver. I'm kidding, I don't own a cat, the operation is for me.
KR: I will be giving money away when my charity opens up, the Get Your Own Money Foundation.
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So there you have it folks, Kyle Robinson; obsessed, unhinged, a shyster thug cat-murderer extraodinaire. Awesome.
If you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again, if you'd like to contact Kyle Robinson, use these nifty links:
KyleRobinsonCustoms.com - This is his main site, you can catch-up on what he's up to there, he takes custom commissions so if you want a cool toy made, be sure to ask for a price-quote. Or you know, you could hire me instead, I'm much cheaper :D
TheToySoup.com - His message board, the site is down temporarily until this Friday, so look forward to that.
E-Mail: kyle @ kylerobinsoncustoms.com
